My Dwight....

Forever the optimist, forever naive.  That's me.  I'm a quick study and I always have been... on subject matters that interest me.  On other things - like innernets, hardware, electricity - I like it - I use it - I need it.  But to understand HOW it works - does not interest me.  I let those kinds of things just remain a forever mystery to me.  But ROWE - now THAT interested me.  So when I read the book, I totally got it.  And embraced it.  And immediately started living it, preaching it and spreading the word to anyone who would listen or was within earshot.  And for those that did not "get it" - I just moved on to the next victim willing listener and spread the word some more.  And being the Molly Brown spirit that I am, I, like a fool, assumed everyone at Company X would also "get it" and embrace it. 

Alas, such is not the case.  And unfortunately, those who are not getting it, are clouding my ability to see the beauty of what is unfolding for those who do.  So my frustration with the heel diggers really is a double edged sword.  It slices me down the middle vertically and horizontally.  I'm now 4 people.  Which is not good.  I need to be one person.  A whole person. 

Although late yesterday, I believe I might have received a glimmer of hope from one of the ones I perceive to be a heel digger.  A meeting with that person today will undoubtedly reveal the truth of the matter to me - and I can then fix that.  I can save this heel digger - I can.  This situation is salvagable.  I believe what is driving this person to dig their heels so deeply into the ground and thereby cause me daily anxiety and keep me up at night (after night, after night) is my Dwight Shrute in the office.  I believe Dwight and his perpetual self-contrived bullshit is driving the ones who cannot yet freely depart from the office (due to phone technology that is being replaced this week) to insanity.  While those who are "stuck" at the office have attempted to infuse freedom and liberty into their lives - Dwight never leaves his vigil.  He's there day in and day out - spreading fear and creating chaos through his dramatizations. 

When I spoke last to Dwight on the phone earlier this week, he told me it was a complete disaster at the office.  I pressed on as I really wanted to understand what was going on back there.  He willingly explained that earlier there had been a family matter with one of the employees that resulted in the police arriving at the office and talking to this employee.  Okay.  Fine Dwight.  And now how did that involve you?  Did they solicit you to give a statement?  Were you in any way directly involved in this incident?  No.  He admitted he was not.  So I merely replied with, "Then I'm not understanding why that is causing you to feel stressed and I'm certain the other employee would prefer the matter remain private." 

Not happy that he had not convinced me of the disasterous state back at the office, he pressed on.  "I guess this whole phone situation is just creating problems - the whole 'not knowing' what we're doing with the phones - it has everyone upset."  Well, now Dwight.  I thought the decision regarding the phones had been made - you have ordered the necessary hardware devices and placed the order to have our numbers ported - so it should be live yet this week, isn't that correct, Dwight?"  Yes.  Yes.  That is all true.  "Hmmm - so now Dwight - HOW is it exactly that there are any feelings of 'not knowing what we're doing'?" 

Further irritated that he had not convinced me of the impending implosion back at the office, he again pressed on.  "I guess the right word I'm looking for is total chaos"  Oh - so the office is in total chaos now?  Please - explain to me what is creating this chaos.  "Well there are boxes everywhere, the entire place is torn up, it's in total disarray."  Right Dwight.  That's right.  We're moving.  In a week.  So it's not like gremlins broke in over night and tore the shit out of the office.  We did that to the office - in preparation of the move.  That is next week.

Clearly defeated, he replied, "Will that be all?"  Yes Dwight.  That will be all. 

Having dealt with Dwight for many years now, I'm quite certain that because I did not raise up and display the fear and terror that he was hoping to instill in me as I lay back on my couch eating bon bons each day choose to work from my home each day and have no idea what is actually transpiring in the office, he no doubt ran to every employee that he could find - likely called a few on the phone even - and told the same pathetic, non-productive bullshit stories - seeking his fix.  He's a drama addict.  And if there isn't any real drama - then he creates it.  He thrives on it.  And now that many people have dispersed from the office - he has a smaller audience and as people start to give a shit less about office on-goings and petty bullshit and focus on results - he's lost.  He can't find his fix as easily. 

Ah but alas, Dwight is charismatic.  And has successfully wooed another employee (at least one that I'm aware of) to buy into his drama.  And thus the heel-digging and push back.  And what a ride they've been on for the last couple of weeks - WEEEEE!!  It's fun!  Look at us!  We are the mighty all-powerful.  The voices of two will conquer the desires of 18.  But wait - the one that got drug in all of a sudden feels alone.  Unloved.  Not appreciated.  NOT FOCUSED ON RESULTS.  And admits that s/he is in the middle of a shit storm and can't get out.  AHA!!!  The second I heard this admission - I KNEW what was going on.  And THIS, my friends, I can solve.  THIS I know how to coach through.  Never fear little bear - I can drag you out of that shit storm.  So I'm optimistic about the meeting with the victim this morning.  And in two weeks, when everyone has the technological ability to work from outside of the office - I wonder what Dwight will do?  Plod in day in and day out?  Stand vigil at his post -  - waiting for the next naive soul that wanders in to use the office as a tool so he can apply his charismatic charm on them and convince them Company X is in a state of chaos and out of control?  Go home and work Dwight.  Please.  Everyone's sick of your shit. 

Perhaps I'll order him out of the office for a two week period.  But seriously, if everyone would just stand up to Dwight and say, "What does this conversation have to do with meeting results?"  And if they said it to him again and again and again - he would eventually GET IT.  I think at my next staff meeting, I'll just make reference to non-productive discussions - especially those that are negative in nature - and encourage everyone to feel empowered to shut it down when they hear it.  Ahhh - Dwight.  You will NOT win this game.  Not this time.