Today was the big company meeting - the one in which we would announce CHANGE IS COMING - the atmosphere was different than normal - people were laughing, joking, being playful with one another - and they hadn't even heard the announcement yet. So why the change in the air? Was it just that the three of us managers were smiling? Did we seem lighter and more playful? Had I wiped that horrid scowl off my face without realizing it? I couldn't put my finger on it - but they were definitely more at ease as the meeting got underway.
We made some fun announcements about new staff and new delivery technology we would be using for one of our services. People were pumped! And then the boss passed out his memo. The one that we had debated over regarding wording and message. And he started in on his verbal delivery. But his delivery was flat. Lifeless. Dull. And I could tell he wasn't sure how to excite people or tell his story in an enthusiastic manner. He was choosing his words cautiously - but they were sending a somewhat jumbled message. And when he finished and asked for feedback - the only feedback we got was, "I really think that new training vehicle is exciting!" My colleague finally spoke up and asked if everyone in the room had totally missed the message that was just communicated. The next generation for our company wasn't that silly training vehicle - it was something MUCH larger than that. A couple of people spoke up - but I could tell they were still very confused, untrusting, skeptical maybe?
And then the boss says it - the demotivating stuff. He informs the staff that this came about because he directed me and my colleague to change. And that he is now challenging us to make the change happen. Uhhh - excuse me - we just spent three + months subtly trying to convince HIM change was needed. And now that he's convinced, it's all of a sudden HIS idea and he DIRECTED US to do this? I was totally deflated. And demoralized. And unmotivated to continue this process. And I wondered why it was so important to him to be in an authoritative position. What would he stand to lose if the staff believed that the three of us had collaborated on this? What is the harm in that? That's likely something I'll need to read up on in some psychology book. Whatever.
Later in the day, we had our weekly management lunch. And it was dull. And lifeless. And full of more of the same nonsense that is driving me to insanity. All I heard was one-sided statements. We're looking at new office space - I communicated that I was concerned that one of the spaces we are considering might not give employees adequate space to comfortably perform their jobs - both physically but primarily - AIR SPACE. We have some staff who are on the phones all day dealing with customers and others whose work really dictates less interruption and more concentration. I further voiced that I found the excessively large conference room to be a waste of space. The boss let me know that he wasn't concerned about those things - (you know, the comfort of people as they perform their job on a daily basis) - and he really wants that big conference room for when we have companies meetings (once a month - less than 20 people) and when we entertain business partners (once a year - less than 5 people total). Again - this "thing" with being in the obvious authoritative position. I shut my mouth like a good servant does. I do like my paycheck, afterall.
And I'm determined NOT to let his insecurities ruin my spirit or want I know we can accomplish here! Tomorrow - my call with Cali!!! SO excited to meet her and visit with her!
Look for posts from my colleague - he's agreed to guest blog here also and I'm excited about that!
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